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Love Hotels -
Let's say you're a typical Japanese salaryman. You live with your wife,
3 kids, mom, dad and grandma out in a little house in Nishinomiya.
It's been a rough week and your looking for an evening (or, in some cases, 2 minutes)
of romance with your wife. Problem is that
every time you two start knocking boots, oba-san starts calling out asking
where you put her miso paste, and the kids need some money
for a new fami-con. What are you to do?? Thus were invented Love
Hotels. But enough about history. If you have never
been to a love hotel, and your at least 18, you need to go.
How they work
You and your wife (girl friend, boy friend,
co-worker, English student, sister........um, no, not that) find the
love hotel section of your town.
This part of town was most likely a cemetery a long time ago. No one
wanted to live on top of an old cemetery, so the area became full of
love hotels. But enough about history. You walk into a hotel and you will
see the board with lots of pictures of rooms. Some are lit up, some are
not. From the rooms that are lit-up, choose the room that you want and
either press the button or pull the key out or whatever.
The light will go off and
another light somewhere, (by the elevator or something) will help you
find your room. It should be pretty obvious. Go to your room.
Inside you should find, typically, a nice double bed with clean sheets,
the high-tech lighting and sound system, a TV with at least 2 channels
of pornographic movies playing at all times, a video game system, a nice shower
and bath area,
and a small fridge full of expensive food and drinks. There will also be
a coffee service set. But don't use the coffee cups! One of my friends used to work at a love hotel and
said that they never wash the cups. Anyway, when you're done, you pay at the front
desk.
How much do love hotels cost? -
There are usually three basic rates. All night, which is from 11pm
about 10am, costs between 8000 yen and 11000 yen per couple. The
evening rate, usually between 5pm and 11pm is hourly and costs about
2500 an hour or so. The bargain rate, from 10am to 5pm is as low as
2500 yen for all 7 hours.
The signs outside each place show the prices. Generally, you get what
you pay for. Expensive room - nice, new stuff inside. Cheap room - old,
basic stuff inside. If you stay all night, you usually pay when you go in.
If you stay in the afternoon, or evening, you usually pay when you leave.
Can I have multiple partners?
I've heard two stories about this. Three foreigners went into a love hotel
and said they just wanted to sleep. They were turned away. In another
case a guy had no problem getting a room with two girls, but had to pay
1 and a half times the posted rate. It really depends on what kind
of attitude you have when you go in.
Bumper Car Sex-
OK, a friend of mine says that he found the love hotel with the theme rooms. It is called
U's. It is pronounced "use". It is in on the main corner across from Namba OCAT. They have, at last count, the following:
a bumper car room, a room with a player piano, a room with an outdoor bath on the roof, a room with a pool table, a room with a simulated planetarium, and, for the slightly less adventurous, a room with a large rattan chair that just kind of spins around.
The rooms cost more than the average love hotels, but facilitate pick up lines like "I know this great place to look at the stars", or "Do you like to ride bumper cars?"
Again, I haven't been to U's and I am relying on my friend's memory for most of this, but you might want to check it out.
More Rumors
Another friend said there is one love hotel somewhere, where each room has a video camera in it, and all the cameras
are connected and each room has controls so you can watch what is happening in the other rooms. He also said he heard of
a place where you just go and, like, swap partners (what a 70's thing). Like I said, these are just rumors and I've
never been to either of these places.
Finding a Love Hotel Near You
Namba
Start at the Nankai train station and walk north along Mido-suji, on the
left hand side of the
street. After you cross under the expressway, turn left and walk for
three blocks. There will be a ton of love hotels. OR from the Midosuji Namba station, take either exit 23, 24, or 25 and walk
due west. You'll see them.
Umeda - Walk east from Umeda on Umeda Kagetsu and go under the
express way. Walk another two blocks east and then one block south,
and you should see the
bright lights of the love hotels.
This from Bruce Cohen...
I found really amusing was in the middle of your love
hotel article/review. It is concerning the rattan chair you talk about at
U's love hotel. You think it is for the slightly less adventurous, but it is
not. It is actually used for something called 'basket sex'! This is big at the
bordellos in Thailand, I hear. This is how it works: One spins the rattan
chair in one direction for a very long time, winding and winding up the rope
until it is very tight and really wants to unwind. Remember doing that as a
child? There would be a tire or a round piece of plywood for a seat attached to the
rope. Then one would watch the weighted rope unwind, spinning faster and
faster all of the time? The person in the chair would get dizzy and giddy
usually. This is just a little bit different. The rattan hair used for
'basket sex' has a medium sized hole in the bottom of it. After one 'winds
up' the rope, the girl gets into the chair. (Or a boy in the case of a gay
couple.) Then, the person not in the rattan chair, still holding the chair
to keep it from unwinding, sits just underneath. He takes his 'chin-chin'
and puts it inside of the one in the chair, letting go of the chair allowing
it to unwind.
The question is, who is getting the more exciting ride?
Copyright (c) 1998 - 2000 by Mark
McCracken, All Rights Reserved